THEtaxiwentupthehill,passedthelightedsquare,thenonintothedark,stillclimbing,thenlevelledoutontoadarkstreetbehindSt.EtienneduMont,wentsmoothlydowntheasphalt,passedthetreesandthestandingbusatthePlacedelaContrescarpe,thenturnedontothecobblesoftheRueMouffetard.Therewerelightedbarsandlateopenshopsoneachsideofthestreet.Weweresittingapartandwejoltedclosetogethergoingdowntheoldstreet.Brett'shatwasoff.Herheadwasback.Isawherfaceinthelightsfromtheopenshops,thenitwasdark,thenIsawherfaceclearlyaswecameoutontheAvenuedesGobelins.Thestreetwastornupandmenwereworkingonthecar-tracksbythelightofacetyleneflares.Brett'sfacewaswhiteandthelonglineofherneckshowedinthebrightlightoftheflares.ThestreetwasdarkagainandIkissedher.Ourlipsweretighttogetherandthensheturnedawayandpressedagainstthecorneroftheseat,asfarawayasshecouldget.Herheadwasdown.
Don'ttouchme,shesaid.Pleasedon'ttouchme.
What'sthematter?
Ican'tstandit.
Oh,Brett.
Youmustn't.Youmustknow.Ican'tstandit,that'sall.Oh,darling,pleaseunderstand!
Don'tyouloveme?
Loveyou?Isimplyturnalltojellywhenyoutouchme.
Isn'tthereanythingwecandoaboutit?
Shewassittingupnow.Myarmwasaroundherandshewasleaningbackagainstme,andwewerequitecalm.Shewaslookingintomyeyeswiththatwayshehadoflookingthatmadeyouwonderwhethershereallysawoutofherowneyes.Theywouldlookonandonaftereveryoneelse'seyesintheworldwouldhavestoppedlooking.Shelookedasthoughtherewerenothingonearthshewouldnotlookatlikethat,andreallyshewasafraidofsomanythings.
Andthere'snotadamnthingwecoulddo,Isaid.
Idon'tknow,shesaid.Idon'twanttogothroughthathellagain.
We'dbetterkeepawayfromeachother.
But,darling,Ihavetoseeyou.Itisn'tallthatyouknow.
No,butitalwaysgetstobe.
That'smyfault.Don'twepayforallthethingswedo,though?
Shehadbeenlookingintomyeyesallthetime.Hereyeshaddifferentdepths,sometimestheyseemedperfectlyflat.Nowyoucouldseeallthewayintothem.
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